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worth the wait.

wow!!  idaho girl in the big city.  talk about a fish out of water.  and also talk about a brave girl with an adventurous heart.   a heart she had forgotten.  

i ventured to new york city in september.  by myself.  it had been thirteen years almost to the day since my first visit to new york, and i must say it was worth the wait.  

it was cool.

but really.  i fell in love with this darling city, it’s architecture, it’s people, it’s shops, and especially it’s edgy style. i have great respect for the city and it’s citizens.  i was in awe, happily.  my experience was just perfect, if such a thing is possible.  i told everyone it was so cute.  maybe it was the neighborhoods.  maybe it was the beautiful sunshiny weather.  maybe i just met the right people.  as if i had nothing to do with me.  as if i hadn’t attracted the whole beautiful, awesome experience.  i still think that things happen to me, instead of me happening to them.  

i had the great fortune to stay with an old highschool friend outside of the city, and even though he never even came to the city, i had great comfort in knowing he was nearby.  my visit with him was a gift in many ways, and i cannot thank him enough.  i rode the subways, i took taxis and i jumped the train to connecticut to see my friend each night.  i went to MOMA.  i rode a double decker.  i ate in delis and on street corners.  i got lost.  i went to macys & bought extravagant perfume.  i had pizza and bagels.  i asked for directions, and people actually asked me for directions.  i can’t believe i had some answers.  i took about 4 photos, because they just didn’t do it justice.  why bother? 

my destination in new york??  a girl named Gabby Bernstein (facebook, instagram or google her for a good time!)  i joined a group of 250 lightworkers from around the world at her Spirit Junkie Masterclass.  i first met gabby in sun valley in 2012 at the wellness festival, and she has been a constant light presence in my life ever since.  i told her when we met again in 2012 how much she had grown & changed since our first meeting.  she said “i might just cry right now”.   i told her because it was truly amazing to see the absolute changes & maturity in her style.  i couldn’t not tell her.  it had to come out of me.  

in her style.  absolute changes.  wow.  but i must realize that the changed were also in me.  was i complimenting and describing her or me?  probably both of us.  

i own my recent growth.  i deserve to, because i am the owner & instigator of it all.  i fought like hell for it.    

in 1999, i boarded a plane to guadalajara, mexico to take a 6-week intensive spanish language class.  by myself.  i didn’t really think anything of it at the time. it was just what i wanted to do.  it’s been a long time since, but that brave girl was nowhere to be found.  i had become afraid of my own shadow, and just as insecure.   these last 2 years have been critical in my rebuilding, and i reached a pivotal moment earlier this summer, listing to a webinar in my bedroom, with my laptop & my dog.   i was called to the spirit junkie class in new york.  at first i fought to ignore it.  and then to own it.  just like i had done with my life coaching program in Ojai.  

fighting like hell has made me what i am…..  ((thank you!!))


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