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i blinked….

and just like that, it’s march. i spent the month of february helping my mother clean out her house, and put her sentimentals in storage. i’ve already given her the top floor of my house, but now i’ve given her half of my weekends as well as we get her vintage house ready to sell.

one weekend i planned to go to the river, but when i woke up the road report said extremely icy. i only like ice in my cocktails, so i elected to stay home safe from harm.

i went to dinner with friends, sold some vintage quilts on EBay, shopped for SUV’s, and triend to manage day to day activities.

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leap day

i’ve been in a fog and waiting to see when the 1st shows up on the calendar to find out if its leap year. after the 28th i thought it could possibly only be one more day. leap day. the 29th. i was totally confused when the 30th showed up and then the 31st. i forgot to investigate, or i didn’t really care. until i did. simply put, this is the wrong fricking month. you see, leap year happens every 4 years, but it never happens in january.

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river trip.

january. earlier this month, i packed my bags, borrowed a truck, and grabbed my red dog for a long weekend. i drove to the river, 4 hours away and 25 miles off an idaho backwoods highway. i had done my research, but no amount of research will tell you how far away from your destination you will get high centered by powder, stopped by a fallen tree, or mired in muck up to your axles. i had to plan for the worst. i packed a shovel and my courage, put on my big girl panties and off i went.

on my way, i stopped at my favorite local gas station for reinforcements, my favorite high school thrift store (closed on weekends, drat!), and the watering hole of my childhood. bertie guarded the truck while i climbed on to a barstool and ordered a Coors and a Jameson. at 1:00 in the afternoon, there was only one open seat. i drank for my homeboys, felt the heat from the woodstove on my back, admired the decor, and cautiously eavesdropped on the silver haired coat-wearing trump fan as he revealed the true motive of the insurgence at the capital. i cannot reveal details here, for fear of repercussion. i tipped big and snuck out the door to continue my journey.

bertie drove the remaining 40 miles to the front door without concern. it was the best part of the day. we passed nearly 100 elk, 2 bald eagles and dozens of deer. i quickly made a fire, turned on the gas lights and settled in as the sun went down.

for the next two days, i read, slept, ate and drank. bertie swam in the deep cold river and played outside for hours like it was a beautiful summer day. i read a whole book and thought about what i wanted my year to look like. the stars were magnificent.

it was a quiet weekend and exactly what i needed. sometimes we forget what we are made of, and need to test our own boundaries to refresh our own memories.

part of my hopes and plans for the year include a visit to the river every month. weather, be damned!

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Wait, what???

How did it get to be October?  And 2015, no less??  What just happened??

I feel like it was just new year’s, and now the year is 10/12’s of the way over.  A good time to check in, check up & check out all the great things that have been happening in my life.  I don’t reserve reflection for January, I like to dedicate random time throughout the year.  What a crazy year full of fun times.  Yes, and very real times, too.  Some disappointment, heartbreak, realization, bold moves, progress on several fronts.

I have been quiet, but not giving up for a second!!!!  More later!!!

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we are all Unique; Just Like Everyone Else or: Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Don’t we all think that the girl next to us has the perfect life, the perfect hair, the perfect lipstick??  Or that our neighbors/friends/coworkers/siblings have it all–  Plus some??  But Have you ever had the shock to find out that supermodel with the gorgeous legs has problems too?? Sometimes worse than us.  Maybe that’s when we start to realize that she’s looking at us in exactly the same way.   Thinking, wow, what I would give for a peaches & cream complexion.  Wow, I wish I had her courage.  Or her talent.  Or her freckles.  I wish I had her family.  How could anything be wrong with her life?  But wow.   She has split ends, too, a broken family, money troubles.  She breaks things, loses things and forgets things.  She is just like me.  Beautiful & perfect & flawed.  There is no reason to envy.  Or pity.  Feeling sorry for the short girl??  Don’t.  She is a wickedly talented artist.  She has great relationships all around her.  She is rocking her flats and loving her life.  Which is what you should be doing instead of worrying about other people.   I think we can all take a moment to be thankful for what we have, and to appreciate how amazing diversity is.  To consider the lives of others in a thoughtful way, and then to leave them alone.  To have compassion.

As if washboard abs would solve all your problems in much the same way that we think a new pair of shoes will.   I’m still waiting, but no longer hoping.

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slow & steady wins the race….

one thing you can say about me, is that i don’t give up.  it takes me absolutely eons to make these big decisions, but once they’re made, it’s a done deal.  we all know that slow and steady wins the race.  ok.  but what about impatience? where the h-e-double toothpicks does it fit in??  is it a gift or a curse??  does it inspire us more than frustrate us??  does it motivate more than hinder???

right now, it’s a motivating curse.  i have so many projects and goals right now, i’ve got something at every stage.  but i want instant gratification.  i want it all done right now, ok???  thanks.  if forgiveness is the ‘f’ word, then patience is a real ‘pisser’.   ((deep breath)). i don’t take enough time to celebrate each goal reached, each mountain climbed, each sweet success no matter how small.  i get it out of the way, and move on to the next one.  it doesn’t feel like an accomplishment to get 24 items checked off your list when you really have 32 tasks.   but why not???  my gosh, celebrate more.  lesson:  celebrate & bask in it.  for me, some days, it’s a major accomplishment to get up & get dressed.  i need to honor that fact.

today.  i am celebrating.  i got up this morning, fed the dog & myself, and got busy & marked one very big task off my list.  now i am celebrating with ice tea.  at the coffeeshop.  with my old friend, blue-haired jen.  silently working together on projects. my one task will have a snowball effect & inspire scores of other tasks.